The Dating Game

As a newly single woman, I’ve been reintroduced to the world of dating. That wouldn’t be such a big deal if I hadn’t had to date and meet new people in almost three years. For some that may not seem like a very long time, but I got into my previous relationship when I was 17. Dating as a teenager in high school and dating as a young adult in university is two completely different stories. Typically, when I was on a teenager you would flirt with the guy you liked in your grade or that you met through friends at a house party and talk for a bit and they’d ask if you wanted to be his girlfriend. That seemed totally normal at the time. Thinking back on it, what was the rush to put a title on the relationship? Now, things are completely different and I’ve been introduced to this new world without a clue of what to do.

In a moment of boredom and curiosity, I downloaded the dating app Bumble. There was no way I wanted to even take a look at what Tinder looked like since it’s so known to be all about hooking up, which is definitely not what I’m looking for. I read about how Bumble gave the girl the control and how in a lot of cases the people who were on there were more serious about dating rather than just hooking up. So I took a look and ended up ‘connecting’ with a few people the same night. I chatted with a few and just felt so strange about the entire thing. Something about it feels a little off, like you’re not supposed to talk to “several” people at once.

That’s what dating is these days though. Especially through online apps. You aren’t obligated to only talk to a single person and you can’t expect them to only be talking to you as well. I met a couple of the guys so far. The first one, didn’t seem to be in it for the right reasons. He’s tall and nice, but only seemed to be looking for the benefits. The second guy was actually really nice, funny and respectful. Total catch. Of course he has the same name as my step-dad… But I’d be willing to look past that.

The problem now is that a guy I had been into that asked to hangout with a week ago, before getting this app, just got back to me today. Like really? I could have avoided all of this… Hahah! Obviously, I can’t keep talking with the first guy. I don’t think we’re on the same page at all. But now, how do I handle the rest?

“Casual” dating is so complicated…

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A Thank You Letter- To The Guy I Thought I Was Going to Marry

A Thank You Letter- To The Guy I Thought I Was Going to Marry

Dear ‘Guy I though I was going to marry’,

Thank you for having the courage to break my heart one last time, when I could have never done it myself. Our relationship lasted a lot longer than I could have ever expected. I was never one for long term relationships since things just never seemed to work out with anyone until I met you. As time went on, I got attached. Great memories were made and milestones were surpassed. How could I have let all that go? I always wanted to see the best in everything, and that’s why I let you hurt me time after time. I was always forgiving, but I am done with that.

Thank you for showing me what I deserve and what I don’t. I’m not going to say you treated me terribly because you didn’t. For a very long time, you treated me like a princess and I had never felt that way before. No one had ever made me feel so special, beautiful and loved. You were a gentleman and always respectful. However, you showed me that there were things I didn’t deserve and now I know to never settle for anything less than what I should have. You showed me that I don’t deserve to get my heart broken time after time. You showed me that in fact, always being forgiving isn’t the best idea. You pulled some really idiotic stunts and I always figured out a way to make it okay. Even when I wasn’t okay with what you were doing, you found a way to make me accept things and forgive you. I’m saying now, I’m not putting up with that any longer.

Thank you for giving me the chance to now live my youth freely while I still can. We got together fairly young and lots has changed since we were seventeen. Many big things have happened, but being together didn’t allow me to grow as much as I should have been. I realized that I shouldn’t have forgiven you for that first terrible thing that happened two years ago. I forgave you because I loved you too much to let you go. But now I know that things could have been so much different if I would have just let go of you. Once again, I’m too forgiving. I might have enjoyed my first year of university more and been more social. I know that there is no way to take that back, but now I won’t stop myself from having fun.

Thank you for making me realize that I need to slow things down. We often talked about the future, marriage and kids. But WHAT?! We’re so young!! I know we were in love and really saw a future together, but now being on the outside I’m seeing that there is no rush and we shouldn’t have put that pressure on each other. Then again, when you said you were still a kid and not ready for all that, I need to remind you that you’re the one who always spoke about it and put those thoughts in my head.

Thank you for introducing me to wonderful people. Even if those connections are either gone now or made more complicated, I’m glad to have encountered these people while we were together. I adore your family and I always will. They have no part in this and of course I could never hate them. They were so caring and loved me like I was a part of the family. They treated me like one of their own and it was so nice to have that with my family being so far away. They’ll always have a  special place in my heart. Also, your friends are pretty great. I mean, some of them I wasn’t a fan of, and you never let me have my opinion on them even when I was completely entitled to my opinion since they did something to lose my respect. Your awesome friends make up for all that though. They took me in so easily and I had some really great times with them. Some I will keep in touch with because they’ve become more to me than just a friend through you. Of course we have lots of memories together as a group, but I’d like to continue these relationships with you out of the picture.

Lastly, thank you for making me feel beautiful. Going into our relationship I had so many confidence issues. You never failed to remind me how beautiful and special I am. After a while, I finally started to believe it. Now, I can go out in the world and feel amazing about myself. I know that I don’t need to settle for anything and I can get what I want on my own terms. Last night, I was out with friends telling them stories and said how this guy called me cute and I thought to myself “Yes I am” and they laughed at my confidence and that made me realize that I am a confident woman and I don’t need you anymore to feel that way. I’ve found that on my own. Thank you for a great couple of years and thank you for ending it. Now, I can go out into the city and find exactly whats right for me. It’s scary to not know whats ahead, but also very very exciting.

Sincerely, the girl you’ll be sorry for letting go.

 

Canada Strong

Canada Strong

A year ago today, terror struck Canada’s capital.

I remember this like it was just yesterday. It was Wednesday and I didn’t have class that day, so I was still in my room in residence. I believe my room mate texted me, or I saw on social media that there had been a shooting at the War Memorial. It took a little while before the uOttawa campus went on lockdown. A new system had been put in place, literally that week, that in case of emergencies, we could get a text notification. Obviously, the system wasn’t perfected yet and it took a really long time for all the emails and texts to be sent out to the thousands and thousands of people on campus. I closed the blinds to my bedroom and sat at the end of my bed, far from the window. I wondered where my room mate was. Turns out, she was walking to class when it happened and she got pulled into an office and had to sit there for hours. Many people on my floor were still there, so I went over to one of the guys rooms where a few other people were and we watched the news. It was so scary to think that this was going on only a kilometre away. We watched footage of shots being fired inside the parliament as officials were on the chase for the gunman.

I still remember the look on everyones face. We were all first years and had only been living in Ottawa, for many a big new city. We never imaged something like this could happen, not in Ottawa, not in Canada. But it did. Everyone looked so scared and concerned. We called and texted our families to tell them where we were and that we were safe inside of our buildings. My mom was so uneasy being so far away in Manitoba.

A life was lost that day. 24 year old Cpl. Nathan Cirillo was the victim of this senseless act. A father, a friend, a soldier of our country. He was just doing his job, standing guard by the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. No one could have expected something so tragic to happen.

It was a chaotic day in Ottawa. But as a nation and a city, we stayed strong in the face of this event and didn’t let our fear keep us from continuing our lives in the following weeks. We are Canada strong and we stand together united.

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Idiots Behind the Wheel

Idiots Behind the Wheel

There is rarely a time as a pedestrian that I feel one hundred percent safe. Crossing the street, I tend to walk very fast, sometimes almost run to get to the other side. My friends will laugh at me and ask me why I’m in such a rush to get across and comment on how I won’t get hit and so on. Well I’ll tell you why I’m in such rush to cross the street and why even just walking on the sidewalk can make me anxious. Tonight, I was reminded of the reasons I’m so paranoid.

It doesn’t take a responsible person or a genius to get a driver’s license. I noticed, and I do somewhat talk for myself as well, that during drivers ed and during your driving test, we drive so carefully and obey the rules to T, and as soon as we are off on our own it’s like we forget everything we learned about shoulder checks and the laws that are put in place for everyone else’s safety. You see people driving thirty kilometres an hour over the speed limit, speeding through yellow lights when they could have stopped, making illegal u-turns and passing, people changing lanes with hardly any space to do so and so on. Do people not care about these risks?

I have three little anecdotes here that have happened in the last three days, two of them being today that are pertinent to this whole “Idiots behind the wheel” concept.

The first anecdote was just a couple of nights ago. It was late and my boyfriend and a few of his friends and I were going out to a lookout where you could see the city lights and the stars shone bright since we were away from the brightness of the city. Yes, it was very beautiful when we got there, but I didn’t think it was worth the major anxiety I felt on the entire car ride there. Our friend isn’t exactly the most responsible driver. When it’s just me and his girlfriend in the car, he drives fast but not too much over the limit and is still fairly safe. But as soon as you put the other guys in the car, he becomes rather reckless. I never feel comfortable being in the car at night time or when the driver is going very fast… And this scenario included both. To get to this lookout, you need to go through the woods, where there are obviously no streetlights. To make things worse, the driver in front of us was also driving recklessly and my friend decided to speed up very close behind him and the other driver was often tapping on the breaks, probably to freak us out. I was in the backseat asking my friend to stop, as was my boyfriend and he just would not listen. My boyfriend grabbed him by the shoulder (in a safe way, as we were still moving) and made him smarten up. That made him realize how freaked out I was, so he tried his very best to drive more responsibly. People don’t realize it, but it takes only a second for something to go very wrong. Even the best drivers can get in accidents, and freak accidents do happen, even if we don’t think we could ever be involved in them. It’s better to take more time to get somewhere, than to risk your life just to be there five minutes earlier.

My second anecdote was actually while I was sitting indoors and getting distracted by the outdoors. There’s a spot on campus that I like to sit in before one of my classes that is on the second floor and there’s a big window where you can see one of the major streets. You can see cars driving by and a TON of students walk past. It’s a very nice spot, but rather distracting. So as I’m sitting there trying to do my reading, I stare outside and see the cars lined up at the light. One of the drivers stood out to me. This lady appeared to be applying makeup on in the car and afterwards texting, with both her hands, and seeming to be completely focused on her phone. Even if you are stopped, you really shouldn’t be doing anything but focusing on the road and the cars ahead. I was just shocked of this recklessness.

Lastly, this is was has inspired me to write this post as I am still furious about this, I almost got hit by a car crossing the street tonight. I will say this off the bat… I was NOT J-walking or walking across while the light was counting down. It was my turn to cross and I still had plenty of time. I was walking in the designated crossing zone, and the street was fairly well lit. Here I was, crossing, not too worried and out of no where a car turns about two metres right in front of me! I practically stop in the middle of the cross walk and look at the driver in shock and I didn’t quite have time to see and know for sure, but the driver either flashed me the middle finger or gave me a thumbs up. Well I think it’s pretty much safe to say he gave me the finger.  Like what? How was this presumably my fault? If I had been walking just a little faster or he had come two seconds later, I would have gotten hit for sure! I was so freaked out and just angry! I didn’t have time to react. I’m still a little shaken up. I’m honestly just glad I didn’t get hurt.

It worries me to think of how many stupid drivers are on the road right now. Wouldn’t it be good to have driver’s take tests every couple of years? People go such long time without getting tests and in that time their driving abilities worsen and get more careless. At least this way, they’d have to keep the responsible habits alive to be able to renew their license.

This is why I get so paranoid crossing the street and even just walking on the sidewalk. Because in many passing cars, there are just idiots behind the wheel.

Thoughts of Someone Who Thinks Too Much – September 22nd

Thoughts of  Someone Who Thinks Too Much – September 22nd

When time slows down and you are left alone, that’s when the thoughts come pouring in, wether they be positive or negative ones. I’m sitting here in the apartment by myself and I can’t help but think of all these things. For some reason, I’m just going to turn to writing and the web to share these thoughts.

One thought that I’ve been having a lot lately is “where will I be in x years?”. The future is SUCH a mystery and that freaks me out a little. I know that tomorrow morning I will be at work and then attend two classes in the afternoon. But then again, will I? We don’t know if we’ll make it to see tomorrow, which is definitely a scary thing to think about. We need to make the best of every single day. However, I know I’m not the only one that has days where I just want them to end and I’m just soooo over everything. There are days where maybe I missed the bus to work, or I had a little fight with my boyfriend, maybe I have a bad cold (like right now as a matter of fact…) or maybe I’m just feeling really unproductive and unmotivated. Either way, why do we take these days for granted? No one (well… probably 99% of the time) knows when their last day will be. We also don’t know when our last day with our loved ones will be either. So hug a little tighter and say “I love you” more often. I feel like I’ve gone off track… SEE! I think too much and I lose track of what I want to say! Anyways… Where will I be after graduation? I’m a Public Relations student which probably means I’ll end up in a big city like Montreal or Toronto. As of right now, it’s looking like Toronto will be where I’m heading. My boyfriend is starting school in Toronto in two weeks and if all goes well between us, Toronto will become my home.But what about in twenty years? Will I be a mother to a couple pre-teens? That’s just crazy to think about… The future is such a mystery. As excited as I am to find out what the future holds for me, I must admit I’m a little terrified. But life would be boring if we knew exactly what was going to happen right?

You know what… I think I’m going to leave it at that for today. Maybe I’ll make this a weekly or bi-weekly thing! Cause boy do I think a lot and I like to share those thoughts from time to time.

Before I sign off I just want to share a little anecdote… Today in my PR class the professor was talking about the whole Volkswagen scandal thats going on right now in relation to their emission ‘rigging’ and how the CEO outright admitted to doing wrong and apologizing. Yeah Volkswagen is in a heap of trouble right now… My professor says “Das Trouble” and we all just laughed. The professor is such a character and so dynamic! Loving his class! His sense of humour just makes the whole class that much better!

Good afternoon and remember, live every moment to the fullest! 🙂


-Lori-Anne Thibault

Running in the Army Run 2015!

Running in the Army Run 2015!

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The Army Run is a HUGE event held here in Ottawa for the past 8 years. This was my second time participating in the event and like last year, it was a huge success and I had such an amazing time! This race hits close to home because both my parents as well as my step-father are in the Canadian Forces and the army has always been present throughout my entire life. This race is about Canadians coming together to thank and support our troops, who do so much to keep our country safe and free. It is also a fundraiser for Military Families Fund as well as Soldier On. It’s definitely not an ordinary race! The starters pistol is a canon shot and at the end the participants receive dog tags rather than your traditional medal. Also, it’s not every day that 25 000 people run at the same time! From start to finish it’s a wonderful experience!

I decided to participate mainly because my mother, whom I admire sooooo much, ran the half marathon in the past and was relocated far away from Ottawa and I wanted to continue her tradition of participating in the event. I definitely knew I couldn’t run 21 kilometres (although I’m starting to consider training for it!) but the 5K would still be fun to take part in! After doing it in 2014, I knew I wanted to do it again! Although I should have trained… I didn’t. And boy do I regret it because my legs are crazy sore as I am writing this! But I still did my best and didn’t stop to walk once! I finished the race in 33 minutes and 41 seconds! To me, that’s amazing and I couldn’t be more proud! Experiences like these will stay with me forever and continue to inspire me every day.


– Lori-Anne Thibault